a lil' bit of everythin'

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


hELLo dudes !

Here's an interesting article that you'll have trouble believing. And those of you who fall in the teenage category ... BEWARE. for this article will raise your ire to an unprecedented level... yes... you'll be more frustrated, annoyed and angry than you've ever been. Unbelievable huh! Read on.

London, Feb 16 : As a form of revenge against disruptive youth, it is almost too sweet - a device that annoys teenagers so intensely that they have to disperse and loiter somewhere else.

Police have given their backing to a gadget that sends out a high-pitched noise that can be heard only by those under twenty and is so distressing that it forces them to clutch their in discomfort. Eventually they can stand it no longer andhave to move on.

But because the body's natural ability to detect some frequence wave bands diminishes almost entirely after 20, adults are completely immune to the sounds.

The sonic teenager deterrent ( can you belive the audacity!) nicknamed the Mosquito because of its sound has proved so successful in warding off gangs from trouble spots that it has been endorsed by the police and the local authorities.

The black box that can be attached to the outside wall of shops, offices and homes and sends out 80 - decibel bursts of pulsing sounds at upto 16 kHz. It sounds to yougsters like a demented insect or a very badly played violin.

The system was the brainchild of Howard Stapleton ( a**h***) a businessman and former electronics apprentice who was sick of youths hanging around outside his local shop and intimidating customers.

Well... thats the whole story. That sob should be ... packed into a supersonic high frequency wave emitter for the rest of his life.

ciao

George Bernard Shaw once wrote, “ There are two tragedies in life, one is to lose your hearts desire and the other is to gain it.”

Is it true? Do you really think gaining your hearts desire is a tragedy. For most of us the answer would be a no. But there would still be a small percentage of us who would whole heartedly agree with what the man said. Gaining our hearts desire is indeed a tragic experience. For nothing is permanent in this world. Things that we gain today are the things that we lose tomorrow. Every breath of air we inhale is exhaled the next moment… just like everything else in life. Nothing is permanent and certainly there is no such thing that we can hold on to forever barring perhaps memories. Therefore when Shaw mentioned two tragedies he actually spoke of one thing. Because we can only lose our hearts desire if we had gained it earlier and even though we had gotten momentary pleasure when we had gained it, it all culminated in a tragedy when the time came for us to let go.

The best piece of advice ever.


IF


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling


Mr. Beans. The riotous one man comic. The modern day Charlie Chaplin. The man who can make you laugh you’re guts out just by his antics, not using a single word all throughout. He grins, he snorts, he chuckles, he raises eyebrows and we laugh along, amused by his idiosyncrasies and quirks.

But something that we all know but never realise is that Beans is a man lonely and alienated from society. He lives in his own world, lacks the necessary and very basic social skills ( much to our amusement) and is in more than one way a lonely heart. His only friend is a decrepit shaggy little soft toy bear that he lovingly calls teddy. Teddy’s the only person he speaks to. He lives his life alone, not knowing how to laugh with others and care for others. Its just him and his quirks.

We find him exceedingly funny. After all, the man is hilarious. No one does things the way he does. But then the question is, how many lonely heart do we know. In the Classic film “ My Heart Is A Lonely Hunter” we see how the protagonist commits suicide because he cannot tolerate the loneliness that has afflicted his life. Mr. Beans is also another victim of loneliness, of social alienation, the only difference is that he does not realise it. His quirks and idiosyncrasies actually protect him from the dark shadows of loneliness.

Charlie Chaplin is one of the greatest comic characters of all time. But he too was a sad soul. He seldom smiled, he never laughed. But this man got us all rolling on our bellies with his antics.

The fundamental question here is that are we human beings essentially heartless? We laugh at things that are not plain and simple funny, but things that have deeper implications. We laugh when a stranger trips over a banana peel. Yeah. Hilarious. We laugh when that coyote in the Road Runner show falls into an abyss. We laugh when… yeah I know I’m sounding a bit too cynical here. Some of you might even ask me to relax and not over analyse things. But these were my thoughts and I just wanted to share them. Besides, I’m no exception either, I daresay, I find Mr. Bean a rather enjoyable show.


Yeah. I know excessive intake of caffeine is bad for health. But I know that millions of people from around the world will agree with me when I say this, its simply impossible to function without at least a morning cup of coffee. There are tea addicts too across the globe. For them a morning cuppa is essential for proper functioning of the system. So basically there are three categories of people in the world. The first group are the coffee drinkers, the second group are the tea people and the third group are those who have not yet succumbed to the magical powers of these morning energizers. The membership in the third group is kind of temporary. Most people end up joining the tea or coffee clubs sometime or the other. And then there are the lifelong members who are so conscious of their health that they never dare to trudge into unchartered territories.

Right now I am more of a coffee person. I have to have a cup of espresso every morning and evening to freshen me up. In fact, its only after the second sip of strong black coffee that I am fully awake and alert. And I need another dose to refresh and rejuvenate me in the evenings.

Its not that I don’t like tea. In fact, till a few months ago I used to be an avid tea drinker. I love tea. But then, functionally coffee’s definitely better. But tea still remains my novelty drink. Sometimes in the tranquil hours of dusk, I like sitting in my terrace with a steaming cup of ginger and cardamom tea and enjoy the cool breeze that brushes against my cheeks. So well, tea still remains a favourite, but just for special occasions.

This reminds me of my seventeenth birthday party. It wasn’t really a party to begin with. We had all decided to go out for dinner, me, dad, mom, bro and cousin sis. So while we were still struggling to choose between Grain Of Salt and Peter Cat, my dad suggested this dhaba several miles from the city. It was a fun plan and we all agreed. The car sped through the national highway, traversing 52 kilometres in just half an hour. Me, my bro and my sis gyrated to the top forty tracks that were being aired on the fm channels.

And then we reached the place. It was called Azad Hind Dhaba. We opted to sit outside though it was a chilly winter night. And that night we toasted on ginger and cardamom tea. And man, it tasted fabulous. I’ve never tasted tea that good ever.


So anyway. As I was saying I am more of a coffee person. And yeah, if I am to go by taste, then tea beats espresso any day, but well, like I keep saying over and over again, I need black coffee to function.


Is astrology truly the queen of sciences? Are what the stars apparently say about our lives true? Do positions of planets and stars during our birth determine the person that we are going to grow up to be? Are our destinies predetermined on sheets of paper documented by renown astrologers or do we build our own fates? Is the mysterious science of the cosmos valid or is it just a hoax that has been coming down through ages?


The reactions to these questions will be varied. Some will react strongly in favour, some will blatantly oppose while most will give hesitant responses agreeing that astrology is partially true but cannot be considered as the fundamental truth.

As for my views on the subject, I think stars are well… just stars. Bad patches in a persons life are in no way caused by the wrath of the stars and planets and therefore cannot be cured by wearing rings or plant roots. Similarly, the position of the sun, the moon and the planets cannot possibly determine the traits of a person. We read about different star signs in astrology books. We marvel at the accuracy of those paragraphs in describing our personalities. But the truth is, if we were not aware of our sunsigns and started reading personality descriptions of all the zodiac signs, we would be able to identify with each and every one of them.

In fact, if we analyse the situation, the stars ( or rather the interpretations made by self professed astro experts) are I some way guiding our lives. For example, I know I am an aquarian and I also know that I am supposed to be unpredictable, eccentric, humanitarian and a rebel. I come across such descriptions many a time and it gradually gets embedded in my unconscious mind. And unconsciously I start displaying some of these traits. Its all mind play.

If you’ve read all the articles I have posted on my blog, you must have come across one in which I blatantly proclaim that I am an astrology freak. While reading this article you might even accuse me of being hypocritical since I am now so blatantly against the whole thing. In that post I have made it pretty clear that astrology is only one of my innumerable pastimes. It is indeed an interesting and amusing way to spend time. But that does not mean I believe in every word that it says. I am the third group of people that I described who believe in it to some extent, not because they think it is the ultimate science but because they are human after all and are responsive to anything that is unknown. In fact every person no matter how sceptical they are will respond to any prediction because astrology plays with the mind. You might think astrology’s crap, but if some mystic tells you that you’re going to have a real bad patch ahead you will spend some sleepless nights over it no matter how sceptical you are.

The case with me is pretty much that. Predictions do affect me but not enough to drive me to wear gemstones and holy roots. Moreover, if wearing a moonstone ring gives a person more confidence then what’s the harm. If a person feels more secure wearing some weird plant root, then let him, we should no have any problems. Its all in the mind folks, and as one of my acquaintances frequently says, “ What’s there?”

The commies have won again… their seventh consecutive victory. This is definitely going to be etched in the pages of history. So what has led to this modern day autocracy. We are living in a democratic nation where people have the right to choose the form of government that they prefer. When the government does not live up to our expectations we naturally go in for other options. But the condition is the reverse in West Bengal. coercion. Of course, most people would deny that. Force, they will say is probably the only reason why they win each time. They are the government, they are the mafia, they have the police under them, they have local heads under them and what’s most important is that they have the moolah, by which they can easily purchase what they don’t have and easily kill what they can’t have.

Communism is well against the principals of democracy. Firstly, communism and democracy can’t go hand in hand. Communism embodies different principles altogether. It embodies tenets of socialism which states that everything must belong to the state because the state is the best decision maker and the state will always look for the benefit of society as a whole. It also advocates that society will be free from inequality of every kind. Every person will be given equal access to the public resources. And every individual must obey the diktats of the state.

These principles are completely against the principles of democracy which embodies free will and freedom of speech and expression… the freedom to choose their representatives, the freedom to form their own government. So the question is, how has a party who advocates the dying principles of Communism survived in one of the worlds largest democracies?

The most probable explanation for their survival is their political infrastructure. Their party has comprehensively conquered every strata of society right from the grassroots. How they’ve done that is besides the point. The fact is that they have penetrated the barriers class, caste and religion. They have secured loyal vote banks among the lower echelons of society. The middle class vote bank was still weak. But it looks like they have started infiltrating this section too. In fact, the middle class votes saw a major shift in favour of the left front. The major reason for this shift is the pro-industrialisation stance taken by our chief minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharya. So these people know exactly what they are doing. And though people might feel hesitant about expressing their views for or against them, the truth is that we have no other option. There is no other party in West Bengal that can compete with them today. And if there are some who will in tome emerge from the shadows, they will have a difficult time competing against the left which is years ahead. The future of our state stands clear. For this time, even mystics aren’t needed to predict the future assembly results. They say it’s a choice between the devil and the deep sea. But I say it’s a choice between a ship and a paper boat. And as of now, I would obviously choose the ship. As the paper boats swim relentlessly against the tidal waves, the war wages on. Some boats sink some forge ahead, their spirits bruised but not dead. The ship moves on bringing in more and more passengers on board. This ship has reached a position of power so insurmountable that the only way it can be curbed is by itself. So for the ones who want to witness change, they have to simply wait till the autocrat resorts to self destruction which judging the present conditions is not likely to happen in the near future. I guess, we will see it someday through the pearly gates.
The commies have won again… their seventh consecutive victory. This is definitely going to be etched in the pages of history. So what has led to this modern day autocracy. We are living in a democratic nation where people have the right to choose the form of government that they prefer. When the government does not live up to our expectations we naturally go in for other options. But the condition is the reverse in West Bengal. coercion. Of course, most people would deny that. Force, they will say is probably the only reason why they win each time. They are the government, they are the mafia, they have the police under them, they have local heads under them and what’s most important is that they have the moolah, by which they can easily purchase what they don’t have and easily kill what they can’t have.

Communism is well against the principals of democracy. Firstly, communism and democracy can’t go hand in hand. Communism embodies different principles altogether. It embodies tenets of socialism which states that everything must belong to the state because the state is the best decision maker and the state will always look for the benefit of society as a whole. It also advocates that society will be free from inequality of every kind. Every person will be given equal access to the public resources. And every individual must obey the diktats of the state.

These principles are completely against the principles of democracy which embodies free will and freedom of speech and expression… the freedom to choose their representatives, the freedom to form their own government. So the question is, how has a party who advocates the dying principles of Communism survived in one of the worlds largest democracies?

The most probable explanation for their survival is their political infrastructure. Their party has comprehensively conquered every strata of society right from the grassroots. How they’ve done that is besides the point. The fact is that they have penetrated the barriers class, caste and religion. They have secured loyal vote banks among the lower echelons of society. The middle class vote bank was still weak. But it looks like they have started infiltrating this section too. In fact, the middle class votes saw a major shift in favour of the left front. The major reason for this shift is the pro-industrialisation stance taken by our chief minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharya. So these people know exactly what they are doing. And though people might feel hesitant about expressing their views for or against them, the truth is that we have no other option. There is no other party in West Bengal that can compete with them today. And if there are some who will in tome emerge from the shadows, they will have a difficult time competing against the left which is years ahead. The future of our state stands clear. For this time, even mystics aren’t needed to predict the future assembly results. They say it’s a choice between the devil and the deep sea. But I say it’s a choice between a ship and a paper boat. And as of now, I would obviously choose the ship. As the paper boats swim relentlessly against the tidal waves, the war wages on. Some boats sink some forge ahead, their spirits bruised but not dead. The ship moves on bringing in more and more passengers on board. This ship has reached a position of power so insurmountable that the only way it can be curbed is by itself. So for the ones who want to witness change, they have to simply wait till the autocrat resorts to self destruction which judging the present conditions is not likely to happen in the near future. I guess, we will see it someday through the pearly gates.

Monday, May 15, 2006


We all know how Opal Mehta got kissed got wild and got a life, thanks to the much hyped charges of plagiarism against Opal’s creator, Kaavya Viswanathan. Megan McCafferty is also in the spotlight thanks to the fact that she was the unfortunate ( or rather fortunate) source of Kaavya’s extractions. As of now, Opal’s coming of age story has ceased to crowd the bookshelves in response to the legal orders sanctioning them to be off the shelf as soon as possible. And as for Kaavya creating history, being the youngest untested author to grab a major two book half a million dollar contract, well, its time to bid goodbye to the moolah and welcome the media frenzy enveloping her. In fact, she couldn’t have had it better. When the news about her plagiarism erupted, the sales of her chick-lit flick increased exponentially with nonchalant young adults rushing to bookstores to grab their copies of Opal’s life.

Is it a sinister coincidence or a twist of fate? Kaavya’s own story isn’t unlike her heroine Opal. Opal Mehta a second generation Indian can go to any lengths to get into her dream university Harvard, driven by her equally hyper parents. Her life takes a major turn when the Dean of Admissions at Harvard asks her the simple question, “ What do you do for fun?” And our darling Opal has no answer to that. And hence starts her quest of getting a life. Plans are chalked up, schedules are drawn all n preparation of Opals big adventure of getting a life. She becomes popular, beautiful and the envy of every young girl. In other words, she becomes the shining example of every thing she’s not. And then the inevitable happens. Her fake identity is discovered. And all her fame gets transformed to infamy. The story is not unlike Kaavya’s. Her book scaling best seller lists, she reaching near celebrity status, she being compared to established experts of teenage stories like Meg Cabot, Megan McCafferty, only to return to the place where se started off form except, this time with less honour. Strange isn’t it? The resemblance is almost uncanny.

Kaavya justified herself saying that her copying was unintentional. She confessed that she was a big fan of Miss McCafferty’s books and any resemblance was completely unintentionally done. While most people shun the apology as a lame excuse, others agree with her statement saying that it is possible to unintentionally and unconsciously forge someone else’s work and pass it off as our own.

After all there are archives full of historical anecdotes of otherwise virtuous people who apparently plagiarised inadvertently from Helen Keller to Sigmund Freud to the Beatles singer George Harrison. And in recent years Psychology researchers have begun to experiment wit the phenomenon of unconscious plagiarism which they call cryptomnesia.

Infact, plagiarism has become a global phenomenon. How many of us teens can emphatically claimed that they have never ‘ borrowed’ passages from the internet for school projects quite consciously and intentionally? At least I cant say so.


I seriously can never understand this hype about being thin. Yeah, I agree that being slim and slender has its own benefits. You look good in almost anything you wear, hence look visually appealing and hence gain attention, and lets face it folks, who does not want attention. But what I don’t understand is how people can absolutely starve themselves to pencil stats just for the sake of looking good. I’ve tried okay? Not that I am too fat. I’m of medium height and am slightly on the plump side. And I have tried to diet too. But having a voracious appetite and an equally voracious sweet tooth, I just cant get myself to resist chocolates. And I also have this serious coke/pepsi ( no endorsing here) thing going and frankly whatever they say, the diet version can never be a good enough sub for the real thing. So well, dieting is quite out of the question for me. Please, I need food to function, and unless I am paid to be skinny like the super models are I don’t think its worth me time, energy or health.

A friend of mine wants to lose wait and be skinny. Why? Because she wants to be able to wear minis. And according to her, its all about feeling good about yourself, if you look good you automatically feel good. But folks, I am stll struggling to understand how watching your brother eat your favourite chocolate flavour and not being able to eat them yourself in fear of weight gain can make you feel good.

Anyway. Enough of harping on this topic. I’ll sign off for now. Ciao for now.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Boring, drag, dull all these words are pretty common in our verbose lives. For everyday we encounter several such situations that we find so mega boring that it even scares our sleep away. But then we also see a certain brand of these people who sit straight (so straight that it makes us wander whether our bio books are right about our spinal cords being curved) there eyes sparkling with interest and who are simply bubbling with enthusiasm while you can barely keep your eyes open and probably cant sleep because your chair is too uncomfortable. And you sit there thinking of ways to get out of that place without anybody else noticing ( that is if you haven’t fallen asleep already).

So all of us have landed ourselves in such situations quite a few times. Sometimes when I get bored, the only thing that keeps me vigilant is the amusement I garner from the enthusiastic lot. I observe them, their every subtle nuance and try to fathom the cause behind such mental energy. Sometimes I emulate them and pretend to gaze ahead. I nod my head vigorously sometimes ( something I learnt from one of my friends, I think quite a few of you know whom I am talking about) and then languid and fatigued I transgress to my original position.

So what I intend to say is that attention spans differ from individual to individual. There are people who can listen to your nonsensical stuff for hours without showing the remotest degree of fatigue and there are some who get so impatient that you regret having started the conversation ( for what’s as bad as an unfinished convo ). So as I was saying, these are the two extreme forms. In between lies the moderate ones whose attention spans again vary. The clinical diagnosis for a person with abysmally low attention span is termed as Attention Deficit Disorder ( ADD).

Now that I have adequately bored you ( and myself) with a talk on ‘ Boredom’ ( talk about irony!) , I think its time to say Adios.

Ciao for now.


Reservation of seats for the backward castes in government aided educational institutions has caused national uproar. Though I am firmly against the whole thing I just tried to test my debating prowess by writing both for and against the issue.


ANTI

Living in the dawn of the twenty first century, in the age of globalisation it becomes rather incongruous if one raises the topic of social discrimination. After all, such problems have already been more or less resolved. The battle against Apartheid is officially over and though there still are several instances of torture, religious terrorism and global wars, people have reached the stage when they can be finally labelled as civilised, the stage where global harmony is the keyword. Yet even amidst all the sheen and glamour of modernisation the shadows of social discrimination have not yet disappeared. In fact they have assumed more dangerous proportions. The oppressed have identified the loopholes and have started using them to their advantage. The word discrimination now has the prefix reverse.

In India, reverse discrimination has gone out of hand. Reservations had been made for the Scheduled Castes and Scheduled Tribes in order to grant them a certain degree of security and encourage them to further their level of education and thus bring about economic and intellectual growth in the country. Almost fifty years have passed since the enactment of the quota system. It was certainly a commendable step when it had been issued. India, freshly independent needed a high intellectual growth rate. And no doubt the policy of reservation was beneficial in certain ways. But today, such reservations have ceased to be even remotely progressive. Instead of identifying merit and talent the quota system has become a weapon for the below average students to land themselves in first class institutions often resulting in the displacement of the truly meritorious. Intellectual growth which was the primary objective of this act is now witnessing a downward trend as meritorious students are increasingly being ignored.

Recently the government introduced reservation for other backward castes ( OBC) in premium institutions like the IITs and the IIMs. This has caused national uproar as the progressive minded have raised voices in protest while the beneficiaries have not stopped smiling since. The SC/ST/OBC reservation has summed up to a record 49% which leaves only 51% of the seats for the meritorious. As a consequence the institutions which have assumed world class status due to their grooming and nurturing of some of the most brilliant minds in the country will have to be content with second hand status now since only 51% of the students will be selected on the basis of their intellect and the remaining 49% will continue to exploit loopholes and rise up the ladder.

The OBC lobby has assumed immense power over the last few decades with a prominent and decisive vote bank and shrewd representatives. Of course, they also have the support of the millions of below average students across the country who are now armed with enough ammunition to compensate for their lack of merit. A new age civil war has just begun. And for students like me, its time to sit back and await the punishment that has been meted out to us, that of reverse discrimination.



PRO


Intellectual growth is perhaps the most important requirement for a developing nation. Intellectual growth, will not only result in economic growth and development, but will also bring about the much needed development in the socio-political infrastructure. Wealth and welfare, the two primary requirements for any economy to flourish will both be achieved. In a country like India, which is diverse both geographically and socially, intellectual growth requires a lot of planning. The Indian society is heterogeneous and therefore it is very difficult to create a policy that will please all sections of the society. Also, it is not possible to please all sections of the society when one wants to bring about development. There are several historical evidences to support this statement. The abolition of sati, female infanticide, child marriage were all progressive measures, but they too faced severe opposition from the traditionally orthodox sections. If these measures had not been implemented just for the sake of pleasing a major section of the population, India would have still been a nation primitive in outlook.

Every step that is taken by the government is bound to be opposed. Sometimes the opposition is restricted to the opposition parties while sometimes it includes other diverse interest groups. And being a democratic nation, opposition does play a very important role, forcing the government to recheck and re-evaluate its policies. But the ultimate decision lies in the hands of the government which is constituted by the representatives of the citizens of the nation and therefore all decisions are in the best interests of the people and the country.

The reservation system is one such policy implemented by the government which in recent days has been facing severe opposition. This policy has been introduced to encourage the backward sections of the society to further their intellectual qualifications and hence in the macro level it is encouraging intellectual progress. There are just two opinions circulating in the country. Some are for and some are against the act. But both parties have their own interests in mind. A country will never progress if decisions are made purely at the micro level. Macro economic decisions are vital for national development and that is what the government is doing. Our prime minister Dr. Manmohan Singh, probably the most educated man in the country today, our president, APJ Abdul Kalam a prominent nuclear scientist all support the decision. Do you mean to say that they are wrong? Do you mean to say that they are incapable of making the correct choices?

It is very easy to criticize a policy, but we must also remember that every decision is made after a lot of deliberation. So until and unless we are armed with information that extends beyond the realms of the national dailies and news programmes, we are in no position to speak with emphatic certainty that what we say is the gospel truth. However we can scream and shout all we want. After all we are citizens of a democratic country and have the freedom of speech and expression. After all we ‘have’ to raise our voices against those political leaders that ‘we’ have elected to represent ‘our views!’

One more year left and then we voyage into the world. No more early morning pleadings for two minutes more in bed, no more walking through the school gates in blue striped uniforms, no more fabricating ploys to get out of boring classes for quick strolls on the looming empty corridors, no more accidentally bumping into other sinners during our oh so innocent escapades, no more… okay, I’ll stop my series of ‘no mores’ coz frankly, its losing its initial rhetoric image. But then, there are lots more things that are still left untold and will still remain untold even after I fill up this entire page and ten pages after that. For there are so many little things that happened in these fourteen years that we have spent.

There have been times of sorrow, times of joy, times of mischief and times of virtue. We have had our share of flouting school rules, having heated arguments with our teachers, peeped into our neighbours copy during tests ( to find out that she’s as clueless as I am ) and getting caught (damn!). There have also been times of glory when we were called upon to the makeshift dais during assembly to speak about our achievements that have made our school proud. Well, the assembly has also given us our fair share of embarrassment, when we were arbitrarily called upon to speak and since no one would volunteer, Ms Sicka ( it was her brilliant idea) and Mrs Kar ( adopted her viceys strategy out of sheer frustration) had to call upon girls,in their stentorian voices shrieking “ tenth girl from this line, seventh girl from the back of this line , blah blah.” Thankfully, I have managed to escape these twists of fate but I always rummaged through my cluttered mind every Monday and Wednesday to extract some quote.

All the years spent in this school have been memorable in one way or the other. I remember my first and my last ( and disastrous) encounter with dancing in public during rabindra jayanti in class nine. I always knew I had two left feet and two left hands and probably even a left body ( I am left handed after all), and I had warned Mrs. S Banerjee (don’t know if she heard it though) but we all went along with me as the rajputra in tasher desh, who cant dance for nuts, but keeps flaunting his ’talent’ all the freaking time. Well, the rest as they say was history.

Disputes with teachers were a common phenomena. English classes were the best platform to showcase our debating talents( or rather digressing-from-the-topic-coz-we-didn’t-feel-like-studying talent). There were classes with Mrs. Nathani where Divyani and devina would rage on equivocally with our exasperated teacher. Then there was the Bengali classes with mrs. P dasgupta where me, divyani and priyadarshini would never listen and be invariably slammed. Pdg has always been the mistress of blatant sarcasm and she thus labelled us as the three pundits of the last row ( under the assumption that we never listened coz we knew everything ). She had a penchant for picking on me and I had a penchant for making lashing statements on her face. So you have some idea about the entertainment that my classmates received in the class eight bong periods.

Teacher gossip never failed to fill our voracious appetites. Whether it was how goyal can never be from IIT, or why our school always has the best history teachers, and why all science teachers always manage to make us more confused then we already are, or why Mrs. Bhatia tied her hair with shoe laces, or how goyal wore a ‘phata’ kurta to school one day, there were juicy scandals everywhere we looked. There were also several related to students which being a student myself and subject to several humiliating encounters will dare not disclose. But Mhs has always been that one place which we can never forget.

I know what I am writing might make many parents have second thoughts about admitting their babies to this school. But dude, I am not righting for them. Neither am I writing for those teachers who will stick up their noses or curl up their lips in disdain. I am giving the picture as it is. Of course, on a more serious note, my school has given me a lot, taught me how to face life on my own and live life on my own terms like a true woman should ( courtesy : Monday mornings with ms sikka) and that is why I respect this institution. But the reason why I love my school is because of the society it has allowed me to be a part of, the mhs society, where I have met so many amazing people, made so many great friends and spent some unforgettable moments. And as the year goes on, I cant help but feel disbelief that in no time my tag of ‘student’ will have the prefix ‘ex’ and that I will no longer wear that blue uniform or that ugly black pair of shoes ( that by the way gives you a zillion shoe-bites) and no longer walk through the corridors with the smug feeling of delight that one gets on bunking classes. I want Hermione granger’s time turner.

We all have our share of quirks and idiosyncrasies. For some of us, they are so very opaque that even the bats can see them without using their sonars. And for the more fortunate, they are like plexiglass, providing just the tad bit required to make us interesting enough. Lets take the celebrities for example. We all know that there are three categories of them. One always manages to stay in the news for all the wrong reasons. The media love them for the moolah that their stories bring in. The public love to hate them. Then there is the second or the balanced category which involves those who lead pretty interesting lives which make good for the inner pages of gossip weeklies but never really scourge the front page. They are the plexiglass group who manage to stay interesting without causing a media frenzy. And as for the third category of our darling celebs… they are the ones who shun the limelight completely. Now I know that’s an oxymoron ( celebs shunning the limelight !). But then there are quite a few of them who appear on entertainment magazines in articles only announcing the birth of their babies or their marriages. And they only grace the covers of magazines like Good Housekeeping or Interiors and stuff like that. They are the celebs that make us go … who cares!

So that was about the celebrities. But we have these three categories of individuals everywhere. In school, at work, in the gym, in the restaurants. All the people that we see lurking about us fall in to one of these three categories. The only difference is that we don’t know the facts since these ordinary folks are of no interest to that nosy bitch called the media.

Now of course, I mean no offence to the media here. They are just doing their job, catering to what the people want. A majority of the people especially in the age group of ten to thirty five, love these kind of news ( commonly referred to as gossip). They constitute the loyal clientele of the gossip weeklies that horde the magazine racks.

Even in politics, the news that sell like hotcakes are the ones providing evidence of how corrupt the administrators really are. So when the politicians start presenting a foolproof façade, the media ( always one step ahead) starts of with its sting operations to expose what lies behind the plastic smiles and fake promises. And we rush to the newsstands and grab copies of national dailes, watch all kinds of news programmes and political chat shows that we wouldn’t have bothered to watch otherwise.
If there were TRPs for the kind of articles read, the ones elaborating the faux pas of todays society and the ones vilifying known faces would win hands down.

So what is the deal here? Are we so vicious that reading malicious gossip gives us pleasure and entertainment. Or are we so progressive minded that we give primary importance to the faux pas of today ( then to all those ‘ progressive minds’ what are you doing about it apart from exclaiming that nothing can be done?). Or should we call it simple mindless entertainment that one requires to protect ones sanity. Just to be fair to the majority of humankind, maybe it is the last explanation that holds true.

There is only one sphere ( at last!) which is extremely popular and attracts people by use of talent rather than quirk. It is the one and only magical world of sports. You must be thinking “ Hello! What about Mr. Beckham?” C’mon folks, the dude did have some talent for the game before we discovered his talent for attracting the media. He is human after all and falls in one of the three categories I postulated earlier ( do I need to say which?). But letting aside Becks, there are loads of other sports stars who are stars in their own right. We love reading about how good they are, not how screwed up their personal lives are ( well, we do read about those too but they don’t come in the sports pages that we devour everyday).

So anyway, as most of you have realized, my last hope … sports to has succumbed to the pressures of mindless entertainment. After all being infamous has plenty more perks than being simply famous ( which has now become a boring outdated concept). So for all you dudes and dudettes who would love to have their face splashed in print… you know what to do ; ).